Fuck Twitter

Millions of base-functioning, mouth-breathing insects congregate en masse to the swirling pool of degeneracy known as Twitter. Twitter is the new social media fad to enthrall the attention-deficient imbeciles of the day. If you can compress your thoughts and feelings down to 140 characters or less, then you are operating at a sufficient intellectual level to use Twitter. 

Twitter is a sad reflection of the diminishing attention spans of modern man. Nobody wants to read anymore or let alone think. Nobody wants to take the effort to learn new ideas and concepts that will be conducive to their respective betterment and mental development. No—to hell with that! Why read when you can consume and regurgitate easily digestible phrases and nonsense written by celebrities and otherwise unimpressive fucks on the internet?

Twitter is a cesspool of anti-intellectualism. It encourages the oversimplification of ideas and feelings. Nothing of value can be said in 140 characters or less whether it was written by Justin Bieber or that guy Jim from my calculus class. If the new standard for wit is what you can communicate with 140 characters or less then all academic pursuits should immediately be abandoned. Fuck rhetoric, literature, philosophy, and art—we have Twitter now. Everybody’s thoughts are accessible to everybody! Everybody can follow everybody even though nobody really knows where they’re going; so they only follow each other like rats into the yawning abyss of idiocy.

Fuck Twitter and the easily-impressed simpletons who use it. The sooner humanity can discard such frivolous pursuits; the sooner we can all press beyond this dark age of mindless masturbation and achieve something substantial as a human race.