In nearly every high school wood-shop class, there are always
one or two delinquents who cannot, despite their best efforts, refrain from
fooling around and subsequently injuring themselves on the machinery. In a
state of nature, these individuals would conveniently be removed from the gene
pool by a process of natural selection. Whether they are obnoxiously filing
their fingernails on a disc sander, or placing their digits within close
proximity to a band-saw blade, the end result of such incidents usually
involves a lost appendage and the teacher having to wipe the arterial spray off
the classroom equipment.
The reason why some individuals injure themselves on
otherwise benign machinery is because they lack a fundamental respect for the
function and power of the tools they are using. Just like disc sanders, band saws,
needles, matchsticks, assault rifles, and plutonium-core implosion type nuclear
weapons, alcohol is a tool. One who lacks the respect for an alcoholic beverage
and the effects it has upon them will likely abuse the function of alcohol at a
detrimental impact to themselves. Someone must have a clear understanding for
the function of alcohol in order to enjoy it safely. Those who lack this
understanding will never cease to injure themselves as well as others when they
consume it. They are no greater than those demented cretins who slice off their
pinkie fingers in tenth grade with a table saw.
